Is your mentor a good fit? Here are 3 questions to ask



The mentor expertise has modified all through the previous couple of years, however particularly over the course of the pandemic. Given the Nice Resignation, staff are reclaiming their energy, advocating for themselves, and in search of a higher work expertise.

This higher work expertise contains having mentorship out there that’s inclusive, measurable, and outcomes pushed. With the shift to digital work and staff turning into more and more conscious of their priorities, we’re seeing a rise in staff wanting not solely mentorship but additionally a means to join just about with different staff so as to construct significant relationships.

We’d like to imagine that we go away our private selves on the door once we stroll into the workplace, however that’s not often the truth. Take into consideration your favourite coworkers and managers. You in all probability have comparable values and pursuits that helped you kind robust working relationships. But when it comes to mentorship, we deal with a mentor’s title, perceived stage of  energy, or variety of followers, which aren’t key indicators of a robust mentor. Nonetheless, company mentorship packages proceed to pair mentors and mentees primarily based on place, title, or gender relatively than character traits and lived experiences. With 52% of American employees contemplating a job change and burnout running rampant, sustainable mentor-mentee relationships are extra necessary than ever.


Having a mentor to join with on a deeper stage will help you see the sunshine on the finish of the pandemic-era tunnel, open up new pathways to job satisfaction, and assist you to acclimate to a bumpy highway of ever-changing workplace environments. Subsequently, to decide whether or not your mentor is a good match, take into account these three questions.

Are you able to really open up to your mentor?

In a mentor relationship, you typically share very private facets of your self, comparable to your objectives, aspirations, struggles, and so forth. So in some ways, coming into a mentorship is an train in vulnerability. To find out whether or not you might be trustworthy with your mentor, ask that individual what stage of knowledge they’re comfy sharing and discussing. In the identical means you’d construct a friendship, begin small and develop the mentor relationship as time goes on.

Once you’re constructing a mentorship relationship, additionally ask your self whether or not this individual believes in you, needs to assist you to obtain your objectives, and offers you the house to be weak. By merely collaborating in a company mentorship program, you each have a shared funding in one another’s private development. However two of an important traits of a good mentorship are a willingness to present humility and to observe transparency. That may imply confronting feelings of ache, embarrassment, or regret—but it surely additionally means celebrating moments of nice pleasure, studying, and camaraderie.

There’s a purpose why the overwhelming majority of younger professionals with mentors point out they worth the connection, and greater than half say mentors contribute to their success: A strong mentor-mentee relationship can boost confidence, positively affect psychological well being, and even lead to future promotions.

Do you click on with this individual?

Once we speak about chemistry in a relationship, we frequently body it as a unconscious resolution knowledgeable by a host of standards. However chemistry isn’t actually a “resolution” in any respect. It’s an emotion. You generally meet somebody and really feel an immediate connection, as when you’ve recognized them your total life. You join with this individual in a means that’s onerous to put into phrases; you simply “get” one another in a distinct means. In a mentor-mentee relationship, which may manifest as constructing on one another’s concepts and even ending one another’s sentences.


After serving to quite a few leaders develop their company mentorship packages, I’ve seen firsthand how constructing mentorship relationships primarily based on a deeper sense of connection leads to extra purpose achievement and higher profession development. As one instance, my firm had a junior graphic designer matched with a accomplice in a completely different vertical. On paper, they didn’t have a lot in frequent. In truth, they’d completely different social teams, completely different profession journeys, and completely different backgrounds. However as a result of they have been ready to relate to one another so properly, the mentee realized the management expertise she wanted to get a promotion and work below the mentor’s workforce in three months.

Do you dread assembly up?

I can’t overstate the significance of chemistry in a relationship, particularly since it may be startlingly apparent when it’s missing. Because the mentee, a lack of chemistry isn’t your fault or your mentor’s. Many relationships, skilled and private, merely aren’t meant to be.

A mentorship assembly shouldn’t be one thing you “have to do.” If an upcoming mentorship meetup sends you into a spiral of anxious pondering, that’s a good indicator that you simply and your mentor won’t be a good match. Sure, working by your objectives can be tough at instances, however there’s a distinction between dreading the advanced path forward and dreading embarking on that journey with this explicit particular person.

It is best to really feel energized and impressed by the concept of constructing your mentorship relationship. So what do you do when you get a knot in your abdomen every time you’ve to meet up for your company mentorship program? The concept of breaking apart with a mentor may sound extremely intimidating, but it surely’s higher to be trustworthy now so you will discover a mentor you genuinely join with.

Suppose by the weather of your relationship that provide you with pause (and a pit in your abdomen) so you may talk these to your program supervisor. Then this individual will help you finish the connection with your present mentor and in addition pair you with one other mentor with whom you may need a higher connection.

Janice Omadeke is CEO and founding father of the Mentor Method, an enterprise platform serving to Fortune 5000 firms preserve and develop various expertise utilizing the confirmed energy of mentorship.